Romance

Jane and I took a spring night walk through the Village and Soho last night. We'd gone to see Norah Jones' film debut in "My Blueberry Nights." Afterward we were both in that dreamy rain swept world where the fantasies you just saw in the movie are so much more appealing than most of your real life. Jane was chilly so I draped my denim jacket around her shoulders and we walked along Houston Street under an almost full moon.

We laughed when we passed a restaurant called Jane, I told her she apparently has a lot going on in her life: a boyfriend, a lover, a husband to be, a gay best friend who takes her to concerts and even a magazine named after her, and now this restaurant too. She said it's a lot to manage but she's doing her best. Silly moments like this one make me so glad she's my friend.

We were crossing LaGuardia Place when it occurred to me that I'd really like to have a romance in my life. Even though, as Oscar Wilde observed, having a romance always leaves one feeling so utterly unromantic. Guess I just miss all that angst....

Later on, after we'd strolled through Soho and taken a cab home and walked Casey and said goodnight and I'd fed the kids their dinners I realized I was still thinking about this. I also realized I must be out of my mind for wanting such a thing but hey, the heart wants what it wants, right? So I started to think about the possibilities.

Goth girl? No way, she's a friend I love more than I know how to say, but I love her as a friend. And I know she feels the same way about me. (And see, honey, I kept my promise to never use your name in here!) We like each other way too much to ever fall in love.

Same thing goes for Jane and me. She's probably my best friend on the planet, and she means more to me than I could ever express, but as to the thought of anything happening between us? Yuck! I'd rather gouge my eyes out with an ice cream stick!

That leaves Emily....dear Emily. Nobody has ever gotten me the way you do, Em. Nobody has ever loved me the way you do. Hell, I'd marry you tomorrow if it weren't for the whole dead thing! Truth is, we've talked about it, but apparently the rules are clear, we both have to be on the same side of the veil. Well, at least that gives me something to look forward to....