The Night Before All Hallows' Eve

We were sitting on the bed, Emily and me, holding hands by the light of a candle in a deep blue glass sconce. She was wearing a denim skirt, knee socks and a black t shirt, looking totally adorable as always. Her hot pink chucks were parked on the floor under the edge of the bed, and Skunk was curled up in her lap purring.

As usual, I was bugging her with questions. What is to come? What is the other side like? And as usual she was laughing and asking, "Jim, would you really want me to tell you? Or would you rather find out on your own?" You see, Emily is my friend, and my lover, but she is also my spirit guide....so how would y0u answer that question? I told her, I would much rather find out on my own. And with her as my helper I know I'll get it right.

And now I know what's waiting when I cross over, and I can't wait!

Satine

Falling through air, falling through time, in a gold lame' cloud, with your bloody handkerchief pressed to your pale lips. My God I love you! Collapse on the stage and I swear I will bear you up, breathe God's sweet air into your hungry lungs, feel your heart pounding through your luminous skin, kiss your eyes to give you happy dreams even as they glaze over into unseeing stillness....if your time is over, so is mine.

Rain Dance

You were dancing in the rain with a black rose in your hair, it glittered in the lightning while your boots splashed in the puddles and your skirt was twirling madly. And you flashed your hungry smile when you pulled me close against you and I fell into your brown eyes and I took your hand and spun you and I kissed your rainy fingers and you laughed and shook the droplets from your hair.

And I'm always surprised by how strong your hands are when you hold on to me. I like it, a lot.

And you took the black ribbon from your neck and held my hand, and wrapped it around our wrists and it looked like forever, and that made me happy. Don't ever unwrap it, okay?

The Comets Of October

There's a girl dancing on the moon tonight, twirling mad and holy in her long black skirt. Her boots are kicking up clouds of diamond dust, and the sweat on her face glistens in the starlight.

And I'm stuck here, with my tears so close to the surface, if I can't cry them I'll have to bleed them out. Sweet relief, when the blade knicks my soul. Take all the blood you want, I won't need it much longer. And when it's all gone you can set me free to dance with you in the airless vacuum under a billion stars, and I'll feel so sorry for my friends we left behind. Breathing is so over rated!

And then our real life can begin.

First Weekend Of Autumn

Emily is all in black tonight, we took a walk under the almost full harvest moon and she looked like a piece of the soft autumn night drifting to earth on a moonbeam. Long black skirt, black t shirt, black ribbon holding her pony tail, black sandals on her feet. Deep black eye shadow, even black lipstick, this a side of her I've not seen before. She's not wearing her glasses, and from the glitter in her eyes I can tell she has contacts in. She slipped her arm through mine as we walked on the Promenade, and I think I stood a little taller in spite of my aching back, that's how proud I was that someone so wonderful wants to spend her time with me.

I bought us ice cream cones on Montague Street, double chocolate fudge for her, rocky road for me. She's the only person I've ever seen who enjoys an ice cream cone as much as my friend Jane, who's my best and oldest friend on the planet. She actually rubbed her tummy and did a little dance step in the street and gave me a very chocolate kiss; people passing by smiled and one guy walking with a girl who could almost have been her sister laughed and gave us a thumbs up.

We came back home and watched a movie, "My Louisiana Sky". I'd ordered it 'cos Juliette Lewis was in it. She really only had a small part in it, but it was a totally sweet movie that left us both feeling really good. Now she's lying on the bed watching Live From The Artist's Den, featuring The Black Crowes. She's changed into one of my t shirts for a night gown. She's lying on her back and Skunk is curled up under her arm, purring so loudly I can hear him over here at my desk. He loves her a lot, and so do I.

Haiku For My Friend

My hands feel useless
when I look at your pain in
the holy moonlight

Nine Years Later

The ghosts are so near tonight, floating like unanswered prayers in the cold blue-white light over Manhattan. Parents, children, lovers, best friends, all wondering what the hell happened under that achingly beautiful blue sky.

And the glass has long since shattered, and the steel has long since bent in the heat. And their blood has long since soaked into the merciful sand, and their souls have been taken back home.

Please Lord keep me from remembering that morning. It's more than I can handle right now. Please take my memories and give them life everlasting. They deserve so much more than I can ever offer them.